Friday, August 28, 2009

Divorce Avoidance Starts With Mediation

What is Mediation?

Mediation is an alternative system of dispute resolution available to parties undergoing separation or divorce. The first technique of dispute resolution has been suits, in which the separating or divorcing parties are adversaries and a judge or master makes the decisions for the parties. Mediation is different as the parties work together to decide between themselves what is best for them and their children.

What kinds of Mediation are Available?

Mediation may be what the courts force or it could be voluntary. Court-ordered mediation happens when the case has reached court, and is ruled by categorical rules of the court. Voluntary mediation is elected by the parties on their lonesome at some point prior, during or after the case goes to court. Voluntary mediation isn't prohibited by rules of the court, but by the wishes of the parties involved and their mediator's guidance.

In court-ordered mediation, the parties may only debate custody and visitation, unless they agree to debate other matters. For example, a judge may only order two sessions, and then later order 2 more sessions if deemed mandatory by the judge and mediator.

What are the benefits of Mediation?

Through mediation, the parties are at once concerned in making calls for and about themselves and their youngsters, unlike when parties take the case to court. In court, a judge or master decides the outcome for the parties according to the law and facts presented. Since judges are limited to what the law lets them do, both parties may infrequently find themselves unhappy with the judge's call. When working through mediation instead of the court, the ability for the parties to work through their issues without being bound by rules of the court permits more liberty to satisfy everybody concerned.

Choosing a Mediator

A mediator is a professional who is trained in helping folks resolve disputes. The court may surrender the cost of court-ordered mediation, or the court may order either party to pay the whole price of mediation or order both parties to share the price tag.

Mediation costs are usually based primarily on an hourly rate or flat fee, relying upon the contract between the parties and the mediator. Though there's a cost for mediation, it is possible the over all cost of the separation or divorce will be more cost effective if pursued thru mediation than through litigation.

What categories of Issues might be Addressed through Mediation?

The objective of mediation is reaching an acceptable agreement on the topics, which brought the parties to mediation in the first place. With court-ordered mediation, the subjects are proscribed to custody and visitation unless both parties agree to incorporate other issues. The parties may opt to discuss the youngsters' living agreements, the youngsters need to spend time with either parent or the parent's schedules. In voluntary mediation, any and all subjects, which are important to the parties, are open for discussion. For instance, custody and visitation, the disposition of property, each party's earnings and costs, alimony, child assistance and life and medical care insurance might be discussed. If voluntary mediation doesn't succeed, the parties always have the choice of hiring lawyers and resolving their variations in court.

Is Mediation for Everyone?

The success of court-ordered or voluntary mediation depends on the ability of both parties to work together rationally to find a satisfactory solution to Problems stemming from divorce and custody disputes. Since not many are able to cooperate in such disputes, court may not order mediation actually where there's a genuine threat of physical or abuse of one of the parties or the parties' kids.

Suddenly Single Divorce Duplicity! By Allan Mulholland

"All is fair in love and war!"

These words were first echoed in 1578 by the English Renaissance poet John Lyly. The actual quote states that "The rules of fair play do not apply in love and war". But when love turns into war and you're headed for the divorce court, it's a double whammy!

All of a sudden, a new set of rules apply. Rules that are created by the courts and manipulated by crafty lawyers. It is no coincidence that the end of a marriage often leads to a divorce "battle" where the gloves come off and civility goes out the window! And, if being Suddenly Single has left you weak and vulnerable, you have to guard against Divorce Duplicity.

To the victor go the spoils. To the victim goes the kitchen sink!

I'm a survivor of three divorces and a "scarred" veteran of divorce wars. And I have learned some valuable lessons.

If I were your Suddenly Single Coach, I would recommend the following:

1.Get a good lawyer!

Depending on the issues involved, find the best qualified lawyer your budget can afford! It is very important that you and your lawyer develop a professional relationship. S/he should have an in-depth understanding of your needs and circumstances. Interview several lawyers before you decide who is most passionate about representing you. Some lawyers will throw you to the wolves, and courts have little sympathy.

2.Negotiate a settlement!

If your lawyer is a skilled negotiator, a settlement is usually preferable. It is usually less expensive than a full divorce trial and there are no last minute surprises. But a settlement has to be fair to both parties if it is going to succeed. Review the settlement options with your lawyer and seek their counsel on the merits of the deal.

3. Negotiate for equity and equality . . . not revenge and punishment!

The hardest thing in any divorce procedure is "letting go of ego"! When I coach Suddenly Singles and prepare them emotionally for a divorce, I help them get to a point where we separate church and state. Or in this case, emotion and reality!

Divorce settlements are not based on emotion, yet emotion can undermine the process.

If you and your "Ex" are heading for divorce, the above steps will go a long way to come to a mutual agreement that is fair and equitable for all involved. Don't let emotions make you vulnerable to Divorce Duplicity!

Tomorrow I'll talk about "Seven Steps to Save Your Suddenly Single Soul"!
Until then . . .
Live Without Limits!

Best Divorce Lawyers In United States

Divorce is an extremely traumatic process involving a lot of mental strain and extended financial burden. It is a major decision that individuals should take in their life after weighing all the pros and cons. It also involves other critical issues pertaining to the splitting of the marital relationship such as child custody, child visitation rights, child support payments and the distribution of property between the couple.

Law is an academic and theoretical discipline and the success of a lawyer depends on the practical application of legal theory and knowledge to solve real problems. Good lawyers are those who can do this effectively and protect the interests of their client. The best divorce lawyers are invariably those who have earned a reputation by consistently securing their client's legal rights in various divorce cases.

In the United States, there are many reputed divorce lawyers in various towns and cities who are specialists in handling divorce cases in the jurisdiction of their respective states. The best way to decide which divorce lawyer to use is by finding out from former clients. Some divorce lawyers have more success at satisfying their clients than others. The best lawyers strive to help their clients through difficult emotional and legal challenges that often accompany family law issues.

For best long-term results, the best attorneys advise patience, negotiation, and working within the system. A few well-known law firms that have earned a reputation in handling divorce cases are mentioned below. Rager and Noiroux, LLP, located in Irvine, California, are a firm of lawyers who are known to provide assertive, experienced legal representation to clients throughout Orange County and all of Southern California in a range of practice areas. They have special expertise in family law. The Law Offices of Patricia A. Hendrickson, located in Huntington Beach, California, focuses exclusively on Family Law in Orange County. The law firm of Magnuson Lowell, P.S. has been serving its clients throughout Washington, including Seattle, Puget Sound, Bellevue, and Redmond. The above names are a few, of the many renowned legal practitioners in the United States.